November 2017

                                                  Are you a Victim or a Success?

Victim: (noun) a person who is deceived or cheated, as by his or her own emotions or ignorance, by the dishonesty of others, or by some impersonal agency.

Success: (noun) the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors; the accomplishment of ones goals.


With permission from a very good friend, here is an email exchange we had.  In Bold text are my friends comments followed by my responses: 

  I acknowledge the brave Union soldiers who gave their lives for a more perfect Union. Also, 20 million Africans died for servitude to a nation who were not allowed to vote until 1968.                                                                                                                             And that has been corrected!

 African Americans who were not wanted in the armed services.                                                 And that has been corrected!

 More black men locked up for an ounce of pot today.                                                                      Not sure if that is 100% true...  and if it is.... pot is still federally illegal….so don’t do it!

Need I stand for all the men of color shot down in the streets like dogs?                               Are you talking Whites shooting blacks down like dogs?…                                                          Cops shooting Blacks only down like dogs?…                                                                            Blacks shooting Blacks down like dogs?                                                                                        People just going in and shooting men of color in the streets for no reason other than they are men of color?!?!?........ Really???!!!   come on.... 

Should I be grateful for this?                                                                                                      Be Grateful for whatever you want to be Grateful for...    

One thing that never seems to get acknowledged is the experience I have had as a white male: For one thing…,  I have not a Clue what “White Privilege” is!!  As middle class caucasians, myself and my kids get NOTHING…,  ZERO…, in the form of assistance, no help in any way at all.  I also pay higher taxes and medical insurance premiums than those with free or heavily government subsidized assistance. When I was pursing a career as a Fire Fighter, it was made very clear to me that because of Affirmative Action, I would have to score higher, and work 3 times harder to get hired than other applicants of minority races/ethnicities.   

I am not saying that there is not a problem.  We do still need to work together and continue to strive to improve.  We also still need to acknowledge this fact:

Right now… In America…  there have been and always will be Victims.  If you choose to be a victim, wether you are Black;  White;  Male;  Female;  or whatever…,  you will find reasons to justify your Victimhood!!!!                                                                                                  And…,                                                                                                                               Right now… In America…  if you choose to succeed, wether you are Black;  White;  Male;  Female;   or whatever…, you can SUCCEED!!!!! 

We can banter on this to the end of time, and we can both come up with examples to justify and "Prove" our points of view!!

If you BELIEVE that being a Female, Male, Black, Brown, White, or whatever, is causing you to be oppressed and unsuccessful,                                                                                                            You will be right!

 If you BELIEVE that being a Female, Male, Black, Brown, White, or whatever, will not be an obstacle standing in the way of your success,                                                                                 You will be right!

I Believe that anyone…, ANYONE…, who tries to blame outside circumstances for their lack of success, and then use their gender or race as proof, is a total cop out.  And what is fascinating to me is that you can take either side, and surround yourself with countless people that will support you in that belief.

Why not focus on what we have done…?  How far we have come…?  And also bear in mind that America didn't start slavery!  It was a world wide pandemic long before the American white male came into the picture.    Stop living in the Past!!!  It is gone, and we will never be that way again.  We will only continue to get better and better as we move forward.  But only…,  if we STOP CHOOSING to live in the past and be a Victim!!!!

I am sorry, but I will not allow myself, my kids, my family, and any friend that will listen, to make a gender or racial excuse to justify a lack of success.


There are times when we tell ourselves that we are going to change our ways and become successful in a particular aspect of our lives.  What many of us don't do though is step out and away from the people and situations that will continue to pull us down.  We fall into the "misery loves company" mentality and surround ourselves with the very opposite of what we are trying to accomplish.  By choosing to take action physically, mentally and spiritually we can step out of victimhood and into success.

One of my favorite quotes is from Henry Ford,                                                                         “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t—you’re right.”

Today in America no matter what Race, Religion, or Gender you are…, YOU can be a victim!     And, today in America YOU can find lots of proof to justify why because of your gender, race, or religion you are being victimized.

Today in America no matter what Race, Religion, or Gender you are…,  YOU can be successful. And, today in America YOU can find unlimited proof of males and females of all races and religions that are successful. 

Pay attention to who or what you are paying attention to...; be conscious if it is holding you back, or moving you forward.

Dedicate the Month of November to Believe in Yourself and your ability to be a Success!

Smile,                                                                                                                                                  Wade